Good Bye, Steve

It's been years since I've worked at Micron, but I will always remember Steve Appleton as a great man with a quick smile and a warm handshake.

My heart goes out to his family.

Rest easy, Steve.

...and Getting It Done Is Better than Getting It Perfect

GAH!!  Why is it that I can push myself really hard at times (had a baby without drugs, did a marathon, got published, opened Illuminate Salon), and then turn around and PROCRASTINATE like no one else?

Haven't I learned by now that it's always better to face my fears and forge ahead?  And what is so scary about, oh, creating a ten-page marketing plan for school?  It can only help me when I turn around and make one for Illuminate, right?

And the sooner I get the legal crap with my ex finished, the clearer my head will be so I can concentrate on the MANY other things I want/need to do, like, oh, WRITING.

If only there was a magical cheese I could eat that would push me...or bacon.  Yeah, a magical strip of bacon to give me energy.  That would be good.

...and Doing Your Best Is Better than Being the Best

So the economy's in the toilet, and everywhere I go people are complaining that their friend/kid/neighbor/husband can't find a job, so I have a hard time understanding why people who have jobs don't try their best to keep them. 

Why am I bitching? 

Because I watched the trash collectors blatantly ignore my neighbor's overflowing trash can because he failed to move it LITERALLY two feet from the end of his driveway to the street.  If you tell me that there is a law preventing them from doing this - some kind of property thing or whatever - I will apologize and move on, although that doesn't explain why did they decided not to pick up the leaves that were in plastic bags on my street.  Only the paper bags were picked up.  Really?? 

Consumers should be getting the best service.  There shouldn't be one complacent worker out there.  More people are using food stamps, waiting for unemployment checks, and struggling.  As a business owner, I reward my loyal clients with discounts and grandfathered-rates, as do all my friends that are self-employed.  We do what it takes to make our customers happy, and when we screw up (which is bound to happen when one is stressed), we overcompensate. 

I know it's bleak out there - why not do the best you can to offset that? 

Sheesh.

...and Gratitude Is Better than Attitude

It's been an amazing year and there are still a few weeks left. With Thanksgiving tomorrow, I thought I would share that for which I am most grateful:

Initially, I had this intention to do something beyond my comfort level every month until I turn 40 in April. That sort of changed when I left my husband. Not to say things didn't continue to push me, they were just unexpected things, and I needed to regroup. He and I are figuring out how to co-parent our gifted daughter. We'll get there. It's hard for me to relenquish control because I worry based on our past. It's hard for him to get past his anger that things changed, and I caused that, though he admits that he wanted to leave as well. Somehow, we'll make it work so she has two whole parents. I'm grateful that she is healthy and resilient. I'm grateful that he & I are making our way through this. Eventually, I hope to write that I'm grateful it's routine and normal...

That wasn't the biggest change of the year, either. To some friends' astonishment and others' pleasant surprise, I jumped head first into a new relationship. We were already friends; the progression has been easy and natural. I'm happy. He's an amazing man and my best friend. I'm grateful to have him in my life. I'm grateful that his son and my daughter have created their own special friendship. I'm grateful I get this wonderful new life with them.

Before ANY of that, I opened a salon with a friend. We've had our share of growing pains. I'm grateful we have a strong enough relationship to work through some yucky stuff. I'm grateful I get this amazing place to work. I'm grateful to all of my clients/friends for their loyalty.

I'm grateful I spent the year writing professionally. I'm grateful I get to do a radio show - 600 Pounds of Ugly - with some of the wackiest guys around. I'm grateful I get to be close to the people at a.l.p.h.a. and the women at City Light - they inspire me daily to be better. I'm grateful for the friendships I have with the most fantastic people who lead interesting lives and who choose to include me in those interesting lives.

I'm grateful. Period.

...and Creating Your Life Is Better than Waiting for It to Unfold

I know, I know, it sounds like a fridge magnet, but I'm beginning to get it.

The last two years I've been like some half-hatched bird, chipping away at my trappings with a busted egg-tooth, and now I'm ready for the next step - you know, the one that sends me hurtling through space wondering if these new wings will work.  A scary thing, jumping into the unknown, but I'm raising a daughter who deserves to grow up unafraid of her own shadow.  Being a role model to her is certainly a constant reminder to push through any doubts.

I learned a lot training for my marathon: start out small, don't get discouraged, carry a lot of beef, lean on your friends, and finish even if it hurts.  Time to use that lesson for something much more difficult - life.

...and Autonomy Is Better than Money (although I have nothing against money...really.)

I've never had a wealth of cash. I own my own business and get to schedule my life around the people I love and writing. It's a trade-off. I've been offered some sweet jobs, too. Jobs that would make me a comfortable living, but I would give up something too precious to me: freedom.

Someday I'll figure out how to keep the freedom and have the wealth. Until then, I consider myself fortunate.

...and Taking Action Is Better than Turning Away

When I was nine, I was beat up on a school playground.  It was summer, so no teachers were there, or I know they would have intervened.  At one point, as I kept refusing to fight back, the girl yelled, "That's what you get!  I hate your mom's face!"  I went home missing a basketball, with a black eye, and a bloody nose.  After that, when school finally started, that girl (an 11-year-old) would flip my mother off at drop-off every morning.

I hated her until I found out what horrible things her own father did to her.

When we take ignorance and run with it, ugly things happen.  That little girl needed to hate my mother.  She needed to hurt me.  She needed to feel that there were others she could disdain.  When her father hurt her, she needed to think, "At least I'm not them."  It doesn't make what she did right, but it makes it easier for me to understand.

Today my friend Duane Quintana, an openly gay man who is HIV-positive, will host Social Justice Sunday at Exposure alpha Interchange, a downtown thrift store.  Today's topic is hate crime - something that is, sadly, on the rise in Idaho.  We'd come so far in the last few years, too.  Now we're regressing into ugliness.  We can stop that backslide.  It's never too late.

I hope I see you there.