Saturday, June 2, 2012

...and Late Is Better than Never (on being a mother)

I can't remember a time when I didn't want to be a mom. 

I thought, once upon a time, that I would have four kids.  Then it dropped down to two.  Then I held Pooka for the first time and knew I never needed any more.  Even now, I hold myself back from swallowing her everyday, hoping to keep her forever even as I know she'll eventually need - and want - to move on to her own life.

Even when she's whiny and a know-it-all and talking too much, I still want to hold her tight to me.  She is beyond anything I could have ever wished for.

I'm sure sometimes my friends wish I'd let go and go out on the town or do ANYTHING without her, but she'll only allow me to be this close to her for a bit longer.  I want to take advantage while I can. 

So please forgive me if I'm the mom who takes my kid everywhere.  Forgive that I recreated my business to include a teepee for my kid.  Forgive that I'd rather spend the $40 to take her to the movies rather than on a babysitter for her. 

Give me time. 

Eventually she won't want me around, and I'll need you to make sure I leave the house.

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